Be and Let Be
So I never write in my “blog.” (If you can even call it that. All I do is reblog random stuff.) But I need to write. I need to talk. I’ve written enough songs that I now have to go through, critique, and put music to; which just adds to my level of crazy.
Have you ever felt like you have so many thoughts at once that you can’t even hear yourself think? Right now it’s feeling sort of surreal. SO much is changing around me but yet not really at all.
Any choice I make by May of next year will change the path I’ve been on my whole life. I’m so afraid of choosing incorrectly or screwing up my chances at something incredible! And then if I take a breath I realize that life’s short and if I make a mistake I have a loving mother and sister who will support me, a father in heaven watching over and protecting me, and unbelievably amazing friends. I couldn’t ask for better.
So, why am I so confused? Why are all of my thoughts jumbled into one? Why am I freaking out about school but sitting and enjoying some Degrassi and Boy Meets World? Why do I agonize over someone who is mad at me, when I did nothing wrong? Why do I stress over college applications when I would much rather travel the world playing my music? What do I do if I mess up any chance at all anywhere?
I love being comfortable, but challenges excite me. I love staying at home and watching movies with my family, but I want to get away and try something new. I hate school campus’ which is why I do online school, but I don’t entirely hate the idea of college.
**Ironic that “Learning to Fly” by Tom Petty just came on…**
I think I just got my answer: “Well some say life will beat you down Break your heart, steal your crown So I’ve started out, for God knows where I guess I’ll know when I get there”
Don’t close any doors that could help you but don’t take it too seriously.
There you have it. I just solved most of my problems through randomly writing something. No plans at all.
(Note to future self: Read this when utterly confused as to what’s going on with your nutty life.)